Well done on publishing your first story! It's very bright and catches the readers' attention :) I like how you have used a popular toy as the foundation to write your story and you have capital letters on the names of your characters. Next time, make sure that you have some time left to illustrate your story too :) Ka pai!
kia ora brayden here i liked the way you made a bayblade from the shapes and it is awesome did you think about making a stadiem and one more bayblade how come you chose a bayblade and why did you choose it kindregards baryden
Hi connor. It;s louis. I liked your post because There was colourful slides. i did something once like this. Maybe next time you should put more detail .Bye!
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Hi Connor,
ReplyDeleteWell done on publishing your first story! It's very bright and catches the readers' attention :) I like how you have used a popular toy as the foundation to write your story and you have capital letters on the names of your characters. Next time, make sure that you have some time left to illustrate your story too :) Ka pai!
From Miss W
kia ora brayden here
ReplyDeletei liked the way you made a bayblade from the shapes and it is awesome
did you think about making a stadiem and one more bayblade
how come you chose a bayblade and why did you choose it
kindregards baryden
Hi connor. It;s louis. I liked your post because There was colourful slides. i did something once like this. Maybe next time you should put more detail .Bye!
ReplyDelete